Blessings Multiplied.

                                                             

"How He Loves" 

David Crowder Band

And we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If his grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about the way...

That He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves.

Andy and I have been discussing the need to write this post and have been frankly baffled and a bit overwhelemed at thinking of where to begin. Years ago someone suggested to me that the journaling  of a gratitude list was a good practice, but I'm not sure that simple gratitude comes close to expressing what we feel. I am a decent writer but I don't know that I have either the writing skills or vocabulary to tell you what Andy and I have experienced this year. The generosity of the human spirit, people at their absolute best, and God's limitless, extravagant grace are just a few phrases that come to mind.

Blessings multiplied. When I chose this blog heading last spring I thought it was both cute and logical. Babies are, after all, a blessing. And four babies of course would multiply that blessing. Logical, yes? I would take note of the heading as I updated the blog and feel inwardly satisfied at my cleverness and consiseness with language. It was really only this week that these two simple words slammed home to me in an entirely new way.

We have been blessed beyond measure. Blessed in a magnitude that cannot be multplied into anything quantifiable. Blessed in a way that we could not have earned in a lifetime of good deeds. Once again, I am reminded of my favorite definition of grace, "unearned favor" and the aptness of this meaning in our lives today.

As I sat in the NICU this week, rocking a peacefully sleeping, perfect, beautiful baby, the magnitude of all that has occurred over the past many months came crashing in on me. That I was allowed to carry these precious lives inside me for 30 whole weeks. All that could have gone wrong, but didn't. The thousands of prayers lifting our family to the LORD. The shower of completely unexpected gifts. The joy of introducing our babies to family and friends and delighting in their reactions. The talented nurses and doctors at Helen DeVos. All of these and more wrapped up in the extravagant grace of our loving and powerful God.

Marin Grace

I have mentioned before that I have found a group of fellow mom's of quads who have been an enormous support and comfort to me. These ladies have become friends, confidants and cheerleaders. They have also served as a grim reality check of the heartbreak that often accompanies the joy in these very high risk pregnancies. Since I joined the group last spring, four women in my group have given birth prior to twenty five weeks and lost one or more of the treasured lives they carried inside them. Of these women, two lost all four of their precious babies, two lost one. I have cried bitterly for these losses, wept in anguish for these women to whom I am connected, though we will likely never meet. I know what can go wrong. These ladies did everything right, everything they could possibly do to carry their babies until they were big enough and healthy enough to come out and meet the world, yet they suffered unimaginable loss. The truth is, so much of our quad pregnancies is out of our hands. A scary thought for a control freak like me. I went to bed each evening thanking God for another day of safety for our babies. I woke each morning asking Him for one more day. One day at a time those days became weeks and before I knew it, thirty of those weeks had passed. I didn't do anything to earn those weeks. Each one was a gift I accepted gratefully, while knowing each could be my last. I knew all too well what could go wrong, and while I wept for those friends whose paths took them to a devestatingly tragic place that no mother should ever have to endure, I praised God that His plan for us seemed to be down a brighter path.

Becker

I can't imagine how many times our family has been lifted in prayer over these past months. It's so easy to say to someone "I'll be praying for you" and then carry on with the day, promise forgotten moments after it was uttered. That has not been our experience. We have recieved emails from people who tell us precisely when they are praying for us, and for what they pray. A wonderful aunt of mine has an entire group at her office who regularly pray for us. I have a great aunt who is a Dominican Sister and her entire convent in Wisconsin prays for our not so little family. Friends have spoken to their friends for us and shared our blog, leading to a prayer chain stretching longer than we could have imagined. The time you have spent in prayer for us has sustained our family in ways you may never know.  The moments of panic and despair that I had anticipated during pregnancy never came. We were able to live in a very uncertain situation with a great deal of peace. We felt early on that God's plan for us included bringing four babies home, but knew that somehow we would be okay regardless of our outcome.

The gifts we have been given have absolutely humbled us, often left us completely speechless. We have received gifts from people we know well and from people we will likely never meet and from everyone in between. We have received handmade gifts and marveled at the craftsmanship and time they must have taken. Just last week a new package arrived, this one from Andy's office in Utah. Among the gifts in the package were four amazing handmade blankets with each of our babies names on them. This is the second such package from Andy's office. The first contained, among other treasures, the four handmade blankets in which you see the babies swaddled in many previous photos.

The wife of one of Andy's colleagues made these beautiful personalized hats for the quad squad. They should fit perfectly once the snow flies. They almost make me anxious for winter. Almost.

We have received gift cards to help with diapers and supplies from people who we know were stretched financially to have given the gift. It has all been truly humbling. We are amazed that people care so much for us and for our precious tiny ones. Several weeks ago a friend from church contacted me and asked whether some meals would be helpful to us. For the next two weeks we came home from the hospital each day to a homemade meal ready for the oven. Only one of the meals came from someone we knew. Most included a card for us, praising God for the blessing of Micah, Becker, Roland and Marin, and promising continued prayer for their health. It has been absolutely humbling to stand in the face of such generosity.

Over the past four weeks we had had the pleasure of introducing the quads to many family and friends. I love these experiences. I can't get enough of showing off our kiddos! The reaction people have to these tiny lives has been one of the greatest joys I have experienced. They bring broad exclamations of joy to some, awed silence to others. I have watched men I have known for years and from whom I have rarely seen strong emotion, dissolve into tears as a tiny but mighty hand grips their much larger finger. The comments we hear most often proclaim their tiny perfection and the miracle of God's work. These babies melt people. I watch the change happen as someone stands at the isolettes for the first time. Whatever form the reaction takes, there can be no doubt that there is a reaction. Keep asking to see them. It makes us as happy as it makes you. I pray that in this world where so little is certain, these babies grow up with the unshakable certainty that they were treasured and adored from the beginning, first by their Heavenly Father, then by their earthly parents, and soon after, so many other family and friends.

When we moved back to Grand Rapids last year and chose our neighborhood we had no idea this simple choice would prove to be such a blessing. Our house is less than a five minute walk to one of the top children's hospitals in the United States. The facilities and staff there are nothing short of remarkable. The peanuts have two primary nurses, one for the day shift, Samantha, and one over night, Jen. Both are incredibly smart and capable and allow us to feel totally confident in their care while we are away. While we know they are doing their jobs, they do so much more for us, going far beyond the normal call of duty. The care and tenderness they display with our children touches me more every day. Only yesterday I arrived for an afternoon visit to find that Sam had made darling footprint cards in anticipation of their one month birthday tomorrow. I was so moved by the gesture that it reduced me to tears. As I've said, experiencing such goodness in people has been incredibly humbling.

I walk here at least once a day. As the hospital comes into view my steps feel a little lighter 

knowing I am getting closer to the babies. 

That's all for now. Thank you again for your continued prayers. We know they work. I spoke to a doctor yesterday who told me that the health of our babies is "quite remarkable".

Next time, one month update. Stay tuned.

Love and blessings,

Jen and Andy

Micah, Becker, Roland and Marin